Starve Moon, starve
by BethBee
Summary: The princess and future queen had never been further from perfection. She had never fallen farther from grace. And it all starts with her protectors. Her scouts. (Mentions of Anorexia) I've never written anything like this before but i wanted to try something new. all kinds of reviews appreciated, just dont knit pick about spelling and grammer :) rated T just in case!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It took time to kill herself. It happened very slowly. No body even noticed it until she had made a good bit of progress. But she didn't recognize what she was doing it until it was almost to late.

Day 1

Serena's POV

"You're such a pig Serena" Said Rae as se watched the blonde polish off her hot fudge Sunday. "Do you ever even think about what you're putting into you're body? You'll get fat if you don't watch it meatball head" I looked down at the two bites of Sunday I had left, then pushed them away. I got up to leave while I stuck my tongue out at the fiery priestess, but her words stopped me. "Maybe the meatballs aren't just on top of your head anymore Serena. Your sunday seems to be rolling over your skirt. Maybe you should consider a bigger shirt Belly." She said over her shoulder. I felt my blood run cold at her spiteful words. "Belly?" I asked despite the fact that I knew exactly what she was using that word for. "Amy told me that you were somewhat… overweight a few years back and that people used to call you 'Belly'. I think I might start calling you that just for… motivation, ya know?" She said. Then with a flick of her ebony hair and a wink of her soulful eyes, Rae was gone. I watched her walk away, but for the first time, my eyes wandered to her tiny waist, her slim wrists and long legs. Then I looked down. Maybe she was right, I thought pinching the skin above my skirt. I felt hot tears prickle my eyes when I realised there was a little too much skin there. I stood up straight and marched out of the arcade, white-hot rage filling me. Rae was right. She had too much 'belly' and that needed to change.

As I streaked through the park on my way home, I spotted Amy. Her azure hair stood out in the crowd, but what was normally a comforting sight only filled me with an awful cold feeling. Betrayal. A tad dramatic maybe, but I had told Amy about my weight problems and bullying in confidence. She had absolutely no right to go spouting off to Rae about it. I saw her raise her hand to wave, her signature smile on show, but I turned my back on her and took the long way home so I wouldn't have to be within a ten foot radius. I walked faster and faster, until I was jogging and then running as fast as I could, tearing through the trees until I came out onto the street. I wasn't even aware I had left the park until a human shaped cannon ball collided with me, knocking me out of the way of the oncoming traffic.

"Serena? What were you thinking, you could have been killed!" I recognised the sound of Darien's voice penetrating my mind. I looked up to see his slightly annoyed face, but it wasn't there long. In fact the annoyance ran away from his face and concern took its place as soon as he registered her tear stricken face. He took in my messy hair and the scratches on my arms. I hadn't even felt them as I ran. I stared at him and he stared at me. For like, three minutes. Then I got up and began to calmly walk away. Of course he followed and grabbed my hand. No words needed to be spoken as he guided me to his apartment. Soon I was sat at his kitchen table, the scratches on my arms cleaned and dressed, my face washed and a cup cake sat before me. Darien leaned against a countertop opposite the table and stared at me while I stared at my battered palms. "Seren-" he started but thankfully my communicator sounded loudly and cut him off.

"Moon" I say quietly to Rae's image. "Belly, get your big butt down here and help us out NOW!" she screeched in response. "Where?" I whispered, a silent tear slipping down my cheek, "The Park, now move it Belly!" Then she was gone.

"Thank you for taking care of my hands. I have to go now. Bye." It was all I could think to say. Then I was running, feet slapping the sidewalk until I reached the west entrance to the park. There, I ducked behind some dumpsters and transformed. It was hollow though. Normally it feels magical and spectacular, beautiful even. Today I may as well have just changed my clothes myself for how spectacular it felt. Sighing, I ran ino battle, leaving the problems of Serena- the problems that could get me killed at the gates. Time to be Sailor Moon.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Darien's POV

I arrived a few seconds after Serena in the park. I stayed crouched high up in a tree hidden from sight in case the scouts didn't need me this time. I took the time space to think. It had been a very long time since I'd had this much cause to worry about her. I watched run silently into battle, her face completely blank until Sailor Mercury tried to welcome her. Then it appeared to twist in pain, something that very nearly stopped Sailor Moon in her tracks. I could recognise the very beginnings of tears, but not the big heaving wails that everyone had grown so used to over the years. The terrifying, silent tears I had witnessed today. I have never seen Serena cry like that, and I never want to again. It made me feel so … empty to see in such a dark place. Normally I would be filled with the light and laughter that she spread everywhere she went.

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I re-focussed my eyes on the battle when I heard Sailor Jupiter's Cry of 'Jupiter Oak Revolution!' It didn't appear to have any effect on the huge thing in front of them. The monster whipped around to face Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus. Chains of shimmering gold flew out at the enemy, but he took hold of them yanking Venus off the ground and with the flick of a wrist- into a tree. What he heard next confused him though. As he watched sailor Moon prepare to attack, Sailor Mars' voice rang out; "BELLY! WHY DID YOU LET THAT HAPPEN? YOU'RE SO USELESS LATELY! Maybe all that ice-cream is catching up to you in battle, hm?" She had started off screaming from about ten feet away but with every word had gotten closer and quieter, until she was almost nose-to-nose with Serena. I didn't hear the last line of her tirade, but I didn't have to. Serena had told me the back-story to 'Belly' years ago after I found a photo of her at the time. It had been heart wrenchingly painful to watch her re-live it then, and it was no different now. At Mars' words all of the scouts turned around to face the soldier of fire, mouths hanging wide in shock. Sailor Mercury paled visibly at the name, and was shaking as she approached the Moon's warrior. Serena however, only stopped for a second to listen to Mars, and then she went back to powering up her attack. It hit the monster with a force no one had seen from the scout of the Moon. It was obliterated instantly, and everybody stood in silence as the Moon dust fell to the ground.

I started to quickly descend when I realised how badly Seren was shaking. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I ran to her and turned her around to face me. Her gaze was fixed on the ground unwaveringly. While I was trying to assess my girlfriend's state of health, I heard Jupiter ask the question that I so badly wanted answered. I couldn't ask it because I was afraid of the venom that would undoubtedly lace my voice if I spoke to Mars right now.

"Mars? Do you want to explain to me why in the middle of a battle, you decide to attack Serena? Why you purposely tried to hurt her? Not one of us could have stopped Venus getting hit. We all get injures, it's apart of the job Rae, so why on god's earth you felt the need to go after Serena for it, I don't know. While we're at it, was there any particular reason you felt the need to call Serena _malicious_ and _CHILDISH_ NAMES, RAE? BECAUSE COMMENTING ON HER DIET DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER _SKILLS AS A SAILOR SCOUT, DOES IT RAE?" _Jupiter was right in Mars' face now, almost screaming. In that moment, I loved Jupiter like a sister, coming to Serena's defence like that. Mars was unfazed however. She replied very slowly and calmly and in Serena's direction. "Jupiter" she said with a giggle, "It's not attack. It's motivation. Right Belly?" she cocked her head, all the while looking at Serena who went rigid in my arms. Jupiter pounced on her, getting in everywhere she could, punches, kicks and slaps. I was going to stop it… in a second… or two, but Serena beat me to it. She went and touched Jupiter's arm and pulled her up off of Mars. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Venus sigh as if disappointed Mars wasn't getting worse. Mercury was still pale and silent, standing a good few feet away. "Jupiter, that's enough. What's done is done. Let's just… go home, it's late." I heard Sailor moon say quietly, then I watched as her transformation faded until she was Serena again. All of the sailors followed suite and headed off in their different directions. It was very quiet and I strained to hear it over the sounds of the park, but I'm sure I heard "Night Belly" from Rae's direction. It was then I noticed that Amy hadn't left yet. She had a few tears on her face, which confused me. I reached out to Serena and wrapped her in my arms, waiting for the tears. But none came. The crown of her head was against my chest as she stared at the ground, thinking. She looked up at me for a moment, and only then did she notice Amy standing near. Now one solitary tear made it's way from her glistening cerulean eyes.

"How could you? Amy, I thought we were friends. You were the first scout; I thought I could trust you. But I guess not. Goodnight Sailor Mercury." At first her voice was thick with emotion, but as she approached the last sentence, it turned very formal, cold even. Amy opened her mouth to say something but Serena turned on her heal and began to walk away. She bowed her head and went in the opposite direction. I caught up to Serena in a second and put my arms around her, forcing her to stop. She huddled up in my embrace and let those silent tears fall once more, small shudders and hiccups wracking her body. I picked her up and sped back to my apartment, jumping across rooftops and flying through the night. I had to fix this. I couldn't stand to see my love in so much pain. It had brought me dam near to tears myself, to see her so small and vulnerable.

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**So yeah, Rae's being a cow and Amy's not to far behind her. What did you think? All reveiws welcome! Thankyou to everybody who has reviewed so far, i hope that this chapter gets such positive feedback as well. Thankyou for reading, see you next chapter! xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it's taken me a while to update. there were a few confliticting ideas about how this chapter should go, but i hope you like it. read, review, enjoy! Thank you for all the reviews I've recieved so far, they've been great and really helpful in deciding where this story shoud go. Enjoy**

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Darien's POV

I sat with Serena for a while as she attempted to pull herself together. I kept my arms around her long after her tears had dried. Seeing her so sad- it had torn me up inside. It almost physically hurt. I was thinking about ways to make her feel better when I felt her look up at me. I met her stunning cobalt eyes and smiled a little at her. I was rewarded with a small smile of her own, and soon we were grinning and giggling like little girls. Then it was full blown laughter for no reason what so ever.

"Oh, Haha, thanks Darien. I needed that," she said wiping a tear from her eye. "Any time Moon" I promised, using a nickname for her I had grown fond of recently.

"It's about 7.30. Want to grab some dinner?" I asked knowing Serena would be hungry. She obviously approved if the way she was grinning and nodding her head at 200 mph was any clue. "Okay, I'll go grab my jacket. Be back in a sec", I quickly walked out of the room, not really wanting to leave her.

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Serena's POV

I watched Darien almost run out of the room and smiled to myself. I was so lucky to have him. He knew exactly what to do, didn't even have to say anything and I still felt better. Stretching my palms to the sky, I yawned and slipped off of the bed. Padding into the kitchen, I went to grab a bottle of water but stopped for a second when I saw a cupcake on the table. Darien had got it for me earlier in the morning. I had been too upset to eat it then. I stared at it for a while longer, remembering why I hadn't eaten it. Then I made a decision. I would show Rae. I'm not always a pig. I can lay off the junk when I want to, and from now on that's what I would do; no more junk or snacks. Just three square meals a day. But how to compensate for all the rubbish I'd already eaten today?

"Hey Darien?" I called out. He popped his head out of the closet and grinned at me. "Yeah? I'll just be two seconds, just getting my shoes on…" He replied, hopping on one foot while wrestling a shoe onto the other. "I'm not feeling so good", I said, picking up the cupcake gingerly with my fingertips. "I think I'll just go home, I've really not got much of an appetite after all that crying". I lifted up the lid of the bin and threw the cake in- and with it my bad habits and greediness. Darien stopped hopping and stood motionless. I held my breath while he slowly made his way to the kitchen.

He kept walking until he was inches away from me. "Serena?" he whispered, his voice only just reaching me it was so quiet. "Serena, look at me" He pleaded, his voice a bit stronger this time. I unpeeled me gaze from the black and white tiling on the floor and hesitantly met his stormy midnight eyes. "Is… is this because of what Rae said?" He asked, the concern and fear evident in his voice. I dropped my eyes for a second and forced a smile onto my unwilling face.

Then I looked my boyfriend dead in the eye and let the lie slip off my tongue. It shouldn't have come so easily- lying, but for some reason it came as naturally to me as breathing. He didn't think twice when I told him how I had a headache and really wasn't up to a snack let alone a meal. He being a gentleman insisted on escorting me home, and the walk was made in companionable silence. At my door he paused at looked me deep in the eyes. Suspicion was written in the lines of his face, and soon in his words. He asked me a total of four times if I was sure I didn't want to grab a bite, and I kept up the façade until the fifth time. Then just as the words had left his lips, an almighty noise left my stomach. It was like a dying animal. And it was oh so loud. I was surprised my mom and dad didn't come out to see what it was. The horrific noise had the orbs that served as eyes bugging out of Darien's perfectly shocked head.

That's how I ended up at the arcade with a burger and fries sat before me. Opposite, Darien sat with a similar meal that he was ripping into. About halfway through the almost poetically beautiful and succulent burger he noticed that I'd only eaten a couple of golden fries, and taken one small bite from my own poetry patty. When I noticed that he was staring at me, I picked up a French fry and popped it into my mouth, and then picked up my burger and took a humungous mouthful. The bulge of food in my cheeks seemed to appease him as he went back to his own meal and I breathed a sigh of relief. He made me finish all of the fries and half of the burger before I was allowed to leave.

Stupid Darien. I glared at him the whole way home and didn't say one word until we once again reached the front door to my house. In the dim light of the setting sun I realised that the door was the exact same shade of green as Lita's skirt. I studied it for a while until I felt a large hand settle on my shoulder. I turned around to face him, fixing a cold glare, but softened my features almost pathetically fast when he brushed his fingers across my cheek. He laid a soft kiss on my forehead and whispered 'goodnight'. Then he was gone. I sighed and headed indoors. With out a word I climbed the mountain of steps to my room, stripped and slipped into bed. Within seconds I fell into a restless sleep, exhausted from today's dramas.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so I think you can tell by the length of time between updates and how short this chapter is that I'm struggling a bit. I want to get each Sailor's perspective in, but its difficult when some sailors aren't as much involved and i don't want to start repeating myself. Anyway, I'll try be quicker. Read and REVIEW!**

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Chapter 4

Serena's POV

Day 2

Nightmares stalked me all night. It had been a long time since I had had a nightmare and it had chilled me to the bone. Every time I woke up I'd slip back under, as if the dreams weren't ready to let go of me just yet. Visions of shadowy monsters, fire, and blood plagued my sleep, and by the time I woke up properly at 5.45 in the morning, I was drenched with sweat and more exhausted than I was the previous night.

In the bathroom I showered and brushed my teeth, and I took in the large violet circles under my tired eyes. Then I spotted them. The shine of the silver caught my eye. They glared at me from their place under the sink, just daring me to use them. I steeled myself- if I was serious about losing a few pounds then I would just have to weigh myself. I pulled the scales out to the middle of the bathroom and stripped until I was standing in my underwear. I refused to look to my left where the full-length mirror hung, afraid of what I might see. I step forward and gulp. My eyes are squeezed shut as I wait to feel the scales settle on a number.

120. I stare at that number for a long time. It's not bad- certainly normal for someone my age. But I've always been slimmer and taller than most people my age. And the last time I weighed myself, not 2 months ago, I was only 110. That's ten pounds.

Sighing, I returned to my room and began to get ready for the day. Today just for a change (and to freak out my friends) I wore my hair down, curling it slightly. That took 45 minutes to do. It was around 7.00 when I had finished my make up- just a slick of lip-gloss, a bit of mascara and a ton of concealer under my eyes. I picked out one of my favourite dresses to wear. It was a really pretty white cotton button up dress, with navy buttons and embroidering at the bottom and sleeves. I paired it with weaved with wedge sandals and made my way downstairs to start my day.

I reached for a bagel on my way out the door, but stopped when I thought about it. Bagels aren't healthy. I said to myself that I would get a fruit salad at the arcade and left the house with a smile on my face. This was the new me. A healthier me. I took my time walking, and went the long way through the park, enjoying the beautiful morning, so it was a little after 8.30 when I arrived at the Arcade for my breakfast.

Andrew gave me a bright smile as I wandered in, and I spotted Darien seated at the counter, drinking his coffee as usual. A huge grin split my face as I walked up to him and gave him a hug from behind. He turned around and returned the favour with a kiss and we sat down together while I had my fruit salad.

Lita's POV

I have never been so _mad_ at another person before last night. There is something about Rae that has never sat right with me, but I couldn't put a finger on it until she went off at Serena for nothing. She is a_ bully. _A rotten, good for nothing, playground bully who doesn't fight fair. _Always_.she has always picked on Serena, always bickered with her. Come to think of it she was always hypercritical when we were training, not just to Serena but to everybody. Nobody is ever good enough in that girl's eyes.

The more I think of it the more I fume. I storm down the street, feet pounding the ground and face red with emotion. Why? Why cant there just be love and kindness? As sailors, isn't that what we strive for? Isn't that what we fight for everyday? I sigh and rub my temples in a calming motion. Getting mad wouldn't do any good. Cracking my knuckles to relieve some tension, I noticed I was outside the arcade. Andrew. He would cheer me up. Upon entry, I see Serena and Darien laughing and smiling. It would be a good day, I decided.


	5. Chapter 5

**So I'm not going to lie- I've been gone for ages and it wasn't exams or family issues or loss of Internet, it was laziness and I apologise. That being said, lets get back to it!**

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(Lita's POV)

As I sit down with my friends, they turn to me to share the cause of their giggling. Serena is trying so hard to breath that she cant get the words out, so Darien informs me that when Serena came in earlier than she ever had before and then proceeded to order something healthy, the shock caused him to pour rather hot coffee all over himself.

As the laughter died down, so did Andrews furious blush and the conversation turned to plans for the day. While Darien questioned Serena about the possibility of going to a museum, I took the opportunity to scan Serena for any sign she was still upset about yesterday. She seemed perfectly normal aside from the absence of her meet ball hairdo. No red rimmed eyes or wobbly lips. I watched intently as she speared a strawberry from her breakfast bowl and brought it to her lips. Then I watched intently as she slammed it down and turned to me to ask why I had been staring at her for so long. Woops. I sat with my mouth open for a few seconds- scrambling for something to say that wasn't weird/insane when thankfully Serena's communicator went off.

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[Set in a reality where Andrew knows all about the scouts and Darien and helps them out from time to time]

* * *

Andrew lifted the counter to let the girls and Darien through without hesitation so they could use the private space in the back. Once safely hidden from public view, Serena raised the communicator to answer, but hesitated biting her lip. I knew instantly that she was afraid- mars' symbol was flashing angrily on the screen. I took the device from her shaking hands and answered myself.

"Belly what took you so long? Too busy stuffing-"

"Do you want to stop talking now, or do I have to rearrange your face?" I say menacingly. Her eyes widen as she registers who has answered.

"There's a Youma in the mall, get here soon." She said quietly, the screen going black.

I look up to see Serena has turned and is already heading for the door. Darien looks at me with worried eyes as we move to follow.

All I see as we leave the arcade is Serena's fruit salad sat- nearly untouched- on the clean counter. A bad feeling starts to make its presence known at the back of my head.

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(Serena's POV)

Arriving on the scene, we see mars throwing dozens of flaming snipers at the enemy but to no avail. As soon as we can we find the opportunity to do so we transform, and i find it almost hurts. When the transformation ends, I'm breathing hard and my joints all feel slightly disconnected. However, there's no time to contemplate why this is because the youma has sent an icy attack towards Rae. Relying on instinct and forgeting about the events of the past few days, i throw my body towards the attack and get to it just in time. It hits me in the stomach and i fly backwards into a vegetable cart, while Sailor Mars stands speachless and uninjured. Before I know it, Tuxedo Mask has me bundled in his arms and takes me to find cover in a store. We hear the cries of Mars and Jupiter's attacks as Darien asks me if im alright. I look down and see that aside form a bruise visible throught a hole in my bodice, I'm okay. I inform him of this but he seems unconvinced.

"Stay here" he pleads with me as he rejoins the battle. I hear cries of 'Venus Love Chain' and 'Mercury Bubble Blast!' and know that all the sailors are here. [Dont know if the Mercury attack is right or not]. Deciding to ignore Dariens request, I get up painfully and stumble out of what i now recognise to be the jewellry store where i first fought as sailor moon. A kind of nostalgia fills me as i remember, but it ends quickly as i hear someone shout my name. I snap to attention just fast enough to avoid a massive icicle and it soars past me about an inch from my head. I run towards the group and take out my [input wand/sceptor of your choice] and call out my attack putting an end to the battle. I spend a minute panting and watching the moondust fall to the ground while i try to collect my thoughts. I turn to the sailor scouts and Darien.

"Meating, Tonight at the arcade, 7 o'clock. Manditory. I'll see you there" i say in my most authoritive voice. then i let my transformation fade and leave the mall as just another innocent bystander in the wrong place and the wrong time.

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**short and sweet comeback. Next chapter will be longer, and there _will_ be one. hope you enjoyed, please Review and have a good day/night! xxxxx**


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